Feminist Conspiracy Theories

The script for the video below was originally prepared as an opening statement for a debate I had with a rather obnoxious feminist. She backed out of that debate though, and so I decided to use it as the voiceover for my first cartoon! Watch the video below, and let me know what you think of Cartoon Cantwell. I’ll work on getting his lips better synced to the words in the future if the character has potential. I also pasted a rough copy of the script below the video.

I think this is a really important discussion for us to have, gender, misogyny, misandry, very hot button issues that stir a lot of emotions, some rational, some irrational.

Men and women, we are of the same species, still, in large part, I think we look at each other sometimes as being completely different animals. Even if we’re from similar ethnic backgrounds, have similar political or philosophical beliefs, I think we look at each other, and we see each other as completely different animals, just on the basis of our gender.

And some portion of that seems really silly, right? I mean, we speak the same language we live in the same country, we are in similar professions, we have a lot of the same problems, we have friends in common, we probably enjoy a lot of the same entertainment, I mean, in most circumstances we cam probably like have a really normal conversation.

But both of us know, that underneath all that, our minds and bodies are doing completely different things, that neither of us could ever hope to understand about the other. a woman probably decides within 30 seconds of meeting me as a complete stranger that she is not ever going to have sex with me, she’s probably a little bit nervous that I’m going to begin acting creepy, and she has a physiological reaction to that, which is completely beyond her control, and my lizard brain, without any help from any conscious decision from my higher thinking human self, is already thinking about what it will be like to have sex with her in the bathroom, and I have a physiological reaction to that, which I cannot control.

All either of us can do about this is put our higher consciousness into overdrive and try to hide what our less evolved instincts are doing behind the scenes, and we’re both sort of putting on this ridiculous fictional display for eachother for the sake of, like, being polite or something.

And there’s good reasons for that, I’m not saying that we shouldn’t put on this display, but it’s a little bit dishonest, we’re not really communicating our feelings about it, and I’m not saying that we should, its so common it would become ridiculously repetitive. I imagine if I went around telling women all the thoughts that go through my lizard brain I would be even less liked than I am now, this is something that no man wants to live with, and so we have to do this, but let’s face it, we’re lying to each other. This makes our relationship very untrusting.

Outside of sexual relationships, and often even within them. Men and women are lying to each other about how they feel all the time, and this, while necessary, builds distrust between our genders.

Feminist Conspiracy Theories
Feminist Conspiracy Theories

Now we can deal with that in a few different ways. We can talk about it, which we’re doing now and I think is really positive, we can ignore it, and there’s merit to that too, or we can build complex and insane conspiracy theories about it. Now what I hear coming from feminists and anti-racists in general, is that on the strength of my being a white male, I am somehow privileged, and that my privilege is some kind of problem, for her, for women, and for other ethnicities. That I should “check” this privilege, and take myself down a peg, as if one being brought down somehow did something to bring someone else up. This all sounds very familiar to those of us who have argued with anticapitalists before, because this is anticapitalist propaganda. Whether they realize it or not, that’s what it is.

We are told, that there is a “patriarchy” some grand scheme of an oppressive system that is supposed to benefit all men at the expense of all women. Now, we can argue the benefits and drawbacks of conspiracy theories on another episode if we like, but if I were going to design a system that systemically benefitted men over women, I would consider that system a pretty tragic failure, when men are more likely to be the victims of physical violence,
more likely to be murdered,
when they are three times more likely to be arrested for a crime,
and ten times as likely to go to prison,
far more likely to get the death penalty,
and in all that far more likely to be wrongly arrested, imprisoned, and executed,
and that if a man gets killed that his killer is far less likely to get the death penalty than someone who kills a woman,
I think a system that made men more likely to be raped than a woman,
more likely to suffer child abuse,
more likely to die in a war, even as a non combatant.
I don’t think that’s doing a very good job of benefiting men over women
Men are conditioned from birth and indeed genetically predispositioned to stand between a woman and a violent threat,
to put themselves in harms way to defend a woman,
we are simply expected by society to work our entire lives to feed and clothe, and shelter a woman, and if necessary, her parents in their old age.
We are expected to anticipate Women’s emotional needs and build the world up to their desires, that we really spend our entire lives, thinking of how to please them, and make ourselves more desirable to them.

If this is how we are oppressing you, then by all means, we’ll stop doing it. But I think that sucks. I don’t want to stop doing it. I have taken a great deal of pride in serving you. It made me feel like a man, and you know the crazy thing is, it did make me feel powerful. That I could have this role in society where I did all of these amazing things, to serve this woman, simply because her presence was pleasing to me. That I liked having her around, that for this I would work myself to death and deny myself so many other pleasures, I mean how silly of me, that’s ridiculous, I really never should have done it.

Now, to call this oppression, I think is absolutely so completely opposite of any semblance of rationality, that I can only think of one institution that would come up with such a thing, and that’s the State, well, a church could also come up with something as ridiculous as this, but I think its safe to say the church is not behind this one.

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Christopher Cantwell comedian, writer, voice artist, and Patriot.

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